*pulls out a notebook, reaching into her notebook portfolio, the notebook that she had to write for her Creative Writing and Poetry Class as she skimmed through the poems she wrote during the "Dark moment shadowed note she was in":
( Poetry of the DarkCollapse )
*She shivers, her fingers closing the book as she bit back some tears that wanted to fall, then pulls out her journal and proceeds to type up an update*
I think it's time to tell the honest truth to why i wasnt around for a year or so...and why i wasnt really around and missed the ROTK promotions with everyone....
Well, I was not telling a lie when I said That I was out and about in new York, in my Loft just a few miles away from my campus. I've been attending school for my writing skills. Apparently everyone tells me that's what i'm good for. *smiles softly*
Yeah well... this end of semester month? Was the worse i had ever had...
I had asked mom if there was any way I could get in contact with Elijah, being the last time I had truly talked to him was a year before. She told me he was doing promotions for Return of the King, and that I wouldnt probably catch him. This of course I understood. My path was at the time leading me to finish my classes, and he was busy being the well known popular actor that he was. I never disputed where we were going. Just knowing that our bond would be there if needed.
Then came when I talked to Zac.... and he heard that my final for Creative Writing was to reach into the "pain and suffering" that I had buried in order to write some of the darker works our teacher wanted for our portfolio. He called me up and spent two hours telling me "Why I shouldnt have done it" "It's not right... you finally are able to forget what happened...you shouldnt go back to those feelings... you dont know what will happen..."
But I had remembered Viggo telling me something on the day before it was time for me to leave.. something he told me that stuck with me... "You are a Child of this land in your heart Hannah dear... the Child of Gondor...of Rohan lives within you... there is nothing that can stop you."
I thought to myself as i heard that... and believed in that as deeply as I could. I wasnt with the others for the haul... I dont know what they expirienced... but deep down i was a child of that Land. And I could do whatever was in my Path.
So I reached down and pulled into myself into the dark memories of my past... the words i had barely heard Dad speak... the horrid fights Elijah pulled me away from, and the nasty things he put us down for... I remembered the pain of
walking down the streets of New York, and hearing people whisper "There is Hannah Wood... she's the quiet little sister to Elijah.... oh! Isnt that the little sister? Oh isnt she just the quiet one who said nothing and followed Elijah like a puppy?" And the constant put-down of the professor McCullant... his digression of my work because I was "not the same as my family blood"
Deep down in the pit of darkness of my nightmares... I barely ate, I rarely slept from nightmares... and I grew to never wanting to leave my room, until Zac came to my apartment, took me out of my room, and took care of me for a few days.
One of the worse nights I was "out of it..." it was if i was in the middle of a dream....
I was standing on the top of tower of ectheleon.... wearing the gown of the shieldmaiden that peter had specially made for me. I turned when i heard the soft singing of Miranda singing the Lament of Rohan, seeing her stand behind me, standing there with Liv and Viggo and Sean Bean, then Sir Ian...Dom, billy, John, orlando, Sean...all of the fellowship and cast there behind me. Standing in the midst of them was My Big brother. He reached a hand up to touch the side of my cheek, and in a ghost like whisper he mouthed, "Come home Banana....Come back home."
....and then I woke up.
Zac came in, and we talked for a good long time. He told me that I had missed Elijah stop at home, and he was looking for me, but mom had told him that i was still in New York. He told me that He was in Los Angeles.... and handing me a web adress to this one journal community. He told Me monkey would be there...and so would most of the cast.
Well.... so here I am
Im just about done with setting up for school...and i know things should hopefully get better...
No... *Shakes her head as she lights the dark poems on fire and tosses themin the trash when they finish burning
I know things will get better
Guys....? I'm home