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Hannah Blessing Wood

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In Memory [15 Mar 2004|05:22pm]
[ mood | blank ]

To The Best Friend I ever hadCollapse )

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[15 Mar 2004|04:27pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Okay, now that im back again visiting my mother in LA... I guess its about time i reveal where ive been the last few months.

*takes a deep breath then exhales*

Ive secretly been living in a box off and on from town to town and became the dirtiest vagabond you ever laid your eyes upon though i still am sexy.



*giggles* Did you *actually* Believe that? psh, no way

But really, ive been living in a hobbits type of hiding, getting through my one breakdown you all remember me having from my anxiety. things have been absolutely insane for me, but i wanted to make sure that I was better... so with that.....

Orlando- *Gasp* you hit me! Wait till I get paybacks from you

Dommie- *pounces* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Billy- -pets and kisses the top of his head-

Sean- Sean you need to call me, i need your advice

Monkey- IF my brother still is alive and kicking... CALL YOUR SISTER

Viggo- *bows* I hope youre well my lord

The rest of the LOTR Cast-- You alive out there? if so... CALL ME

Prince William- Im laughing actually! *Gasps* Imagine that!

Everyone else- Im baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

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[14 Mar 2004|10:35pm]
no...i havent died...
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[22 Jan 2004|10:16am]
[ mood | blah ]

Well it appears that i'm easily forgotten when i am stuck with going somewhere

well, Im in new york right now...staying at the dorm room with Karina. She's so totally beside herself. The funeral is today, and im just....afraid to deal with it.

First off, I want to APOLOGIZE For not seeing you earlier kelly, my pimpmistress.... I sent Theese to you hope you get themCollapse )

I'm around at the apartment, before I go to the funeral....if people want to get ahold of me, i'm here....

Joaq? Liv? I hope you guys are okay......if you want me to stop, i'll come and see you since im here....

Viggo? I need to call you.... Dommie, you too if i see you....

anyway.... I hear karina crying....i need to go back to check on her... So I'll be around...

*clicks update with a sigh, biting her lip at how she's missed a ton of people.... she goes to take care of karina

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[19 Jan 2004|09:24pm]
[ mood | blank ]

My Friend Karina from college just sent me a message via my computer.

our friend, Marissa Alejandra Domingo, one of the starlets of our school and president of the Poetry club, had gone for her nightly run....and was run down in a hit and run accident just outside of our school entranceway

....talk about a blow.....

one of the greatest young poets at our class, gone.

-flops on the ground stunned-

shit....I dont know what to feel

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[19 Jan 2004|02:35am]
[ mood | confused ]

-touches her fingers against her lips-

.....why do things seem so confusing?

-sighs softly-

fate likes to play with us, doesnt it?

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[17 Jan 2004|01:41am]
[ mood | confused ]

Is it possible spending a night meeting someone you've wanted to meet for a long time, and finding you both just... find it easy to talk to .... and just have, the most amazing time of your life....?

Tonight i will definitely have to admit... I am clear to say that it has happened to me: Hannah Blessing Wood. Something i never thought would happen

Could an Angel find happiness? i think its safe to say yes this once, even if it was just for a moment... there is chances.

To That certain person, I only wish to say, Thank you.... in so many ways, for understanding as much as you had.

Private poem written for own useageCollapse )

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Updatage [16 Jan 2004|10:23pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Well, here we are at the last couple of days with being in Los Angeles staying at Mom's place. Lij has been staying in the guest house in the back like he usually does, and Dom's sleeping in the guest room.

Sometimes I dont know what i'd do without Dommie spending some time with me recently. I know he's just as big of a busy boy as my brother-- and yet he has been here for me when i've needed him. I really adore that guy alot, you know? He even went with me to the doctors when lij couldnt because of a promo shoot he had to do, and mom had a big meeting.

The doctors appointment went better then I thought. The doctor definitely said my anxiety was up to levels that it SHOULDNT have been in. -laughs- well it doesnt take a genius to figure that one out does it? -snorts- but he did give me an anti-depressant called "Lexi-pro" -- which shouldnt have as many side effects as the prescription brand zoloft or paxil. I'm to take 10mmg tablet once a day. We'll se

So, Now that things are slowly starting to look on the up and up, i'm totally up to getting to know more people. So if you see me on, send me love! -laughs-

Oh, and Viggo? Liv? guys? I miss you, call me? Ian, Sean, let me know how you all are?

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[15 Jan 2004|07:32am]
OOCCollapse )
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Back in L.A For the time being [15 Jan 2004|06:17am]
[ mood | worried ]

Well, the other Day, Dominic, Lij and I all flew back into LA For a few days-- you know, talking to mom, getting to see a few of our friends.... go to the doctors.... and prolly by the weekend Lijah and I Are prolly going to be flying back to NYC.

Granted i had a really shitty time sleeping because my body was acting up, but im glad that I woke up when i had, because Drew called me all crying

im sorry, but i cant stand to see anyone i love upset. Not at all

I went out for coffee with Drew at her place when she called me, and I let her just talk. Sometimes just....listening to others talk always made me feel worth something. To know that even a friendly ear to listen is enough for them to be of help. -nods softly- That and her dogs were absolutely adorable.

I only hope that I was a help tonight.....

-stretches- I may curl up on the couch when i get home.... i'd go and sleep on the couch in the guesthouse where monkey is... but i dont want to disturb is privacy... or anything like that.

Drew? Feel better sweetie, dont forget im here for you

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[14 Jan 2004|08:36pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Im feeling rather bored today....nothing really has changed or been fun

....can someone unbore me?

the dreamer poetess would love you forever.

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[13 Jan 2004|10:26am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

happy birthday goes out to a certain elf that has been there to make me smile, make me laugh, and just... be there for me when i've needed him, and to let him know that i'll always be there for him as well.

I love you tons orlando, and i hope your birthday is the greatest ever

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Another Poem (yes i get too creative) [12 Jan 2004|01:07am]
[ mood | thankful ]

Oh Light of elendil so bright
grant your love upon my weary heart
that ever darkness on my sight
it's icy hand clasped upon my soul

Oh Light of Elendil be true
and show my one true feeling
that blesses upon my aching heart
and bring me peace again

And Liv? Thank you for doing everything you've done for me lately... I sometimes find myself not deserving of such love from you. You've been like the older sister I've always wanted as well.

Just.... thanks

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Request for a fellow Poet.... [11 Jan 2004|11:40pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Daydreaming of youCollapse )

ShadowCollapse )

And this one I wrote a while ago, and it's to a very important "King of Gondor" which i hope he'll read and enjoy...

Lament of a KingCollapse )

My stay in Cantebury has been absolutely wonderful... I adore Samantha and Orlando with my entire heart and Soul. But I know i've seen my brother looking ragged, as if he in a way is needing to go back to NYC... and after talking to Liv about alot of things...

Elijah? We can go home whenever you're ready. I want to go back with you

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[10 Jan 2004|02:06pm]
[ mood | content ]

Sammie and I went to the airport in Cantebury to go pick up my brother today.

Let me tell you....after months of not speaking or even seeing my brother? It never felt so good to be held by him then at that very moment.

Elijah was really a good portion of what I knew for comfort when we were kids, dealing with shit that happened with Dad. We just have that, connection at times. We understand each other on a few levels most people wouldnt understand.

But we all grow up, we all go through things that happens. Apparently my minor "incident" is something that I had to go through.

I'm taking the medicine that the docs had given me before, i'm watching to make sure i'm eating a little bit more each day, and when i do, things will get better.

As i was told a while ago....there's no where to go when you hit rock bottom then up.... right?

To everyone here, i'm sorry I was so quiet. But I Want to get to talk to alot more of you. So either hit me up on either xHannWoodx or on BlessingHann. Depending on what works better for me.

*smiles a bit and clicks update when she hears Elijah calling her from the other room

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Finally.... [08 Jan 2004|01:14pm]
[ mood | tearful ]

-laughs softly, still wiping the tears from my eyes-

Finally... i was just sitting out, smoking a cigarette.... and my phone rang.

Lij finally called me... that crazy brother of mine... my monkey...he finally called me.

We talked alot.... I think I gave him a really good scare... *weakly laughs* I gave everyone a good scare I think with what happened to me

Breakdowns are the worse... the absolute fucking worse...

You loose 30 lbs... you have trouble sleeping at night, people look at you like you'll go unstable again... gah, fucking hell *takes a drag of her cigarette*

I just want to get past it. But when i see mom, and start going back to new york to talk to the school councilor... it should get better... Mom i know will try and schedule an appointment with the family doctor too to probably put me on some sort of anti's for now...lexipro, zoloft.. who knows.

If it will get me back to the smiling happy medium i was at a while back...? Back before last year...? I'll do anything to get to it.

I'm going to take the next steps to get myself back to the happy hannah that I was-- the medium i missed. Or as near damned close as I can

Lij? Monkey....? I love you big brother....

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[07 Jan 2004|08:16pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Well, I finally had the nerve to call mom last night...and had a long emotional talk on the phone with her... I told her everything that had happened to me. I told her what had been going on... what happened to me....and why Zac didnt tell her. We spent hours crying to each other... and I promised i'd still come back to LA to see her... I know she's going to want to baby me.

I asked her if Lij had called home at all, and she said no, that he was still "thinking of things and hadnt called lately"

... I'm sorry guys for leaving the "party" ...but the sibling talk was just, too much for me at the moment.

Is it wrong to miss your sibling....? Is it really....?

-sighs, running her fingers through her hair shakily-

Fuck, I just want to be better again....

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[05 Jan 2004|11:57pm]
[ mood | blank ]

*She has her bags, getting ready to head out of the door to go sleep somewhere else, her eyes filled with unshed tears, her arms wrapped around her waist, holding her bags

I thought i could stand being here...but I cant.... I havent gotten past it yet....

I still feel the pain soaking through me when i close my eyes...

I cant stand being alone anymore

Orlando bought me a plane ticket to go be there for him because Gran is sick... so i'm going to.

Monkey? If you cant find a place...stay in mine...i'll call you soon

Sean? Im sorry im leaving for now... but im not sure I can stay in the apt another night

Dom, billy? I'll see you guys in London dears....

*clicks update, grabbing her laptop, and leaves her loft*

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Stupid College Students! [05 Jan 2004|02:11pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

All right, due to some stupid kids who havent grown up in this college, i'm now using for AIM is BlessingHann

anytime on my cell i'll be on


grr... the nerve of them

*growls a bit and flops on her futon with a groan*

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[05 Jan 2004|01:44pm]
[ mood | cold ]

*pulls out a notebook, reaching into her notebook portfolio, the notebook that she had to write for her Creative Writing and Poetry Class as she skimmed through the poems she wrote during the "Dark moment shadowed note she was in":

Poetry of the DarkCollapse )

*She shivers, her fingers closing the book as she bit back some tears that wanted to fall, then pulls out her journal and proceeds to type up an update*

I think it's time to tell the honest truth to why i wasnt around for a year or so...and why i wasnt really around and missed the ROTK promotions with everyone....

Well, I was not telling a lie when I said That I was out and about in new York, in my Loft just a few miles away from my campus. I've been attending school for my writing skills. Apparently everyone tells me that's what i'm good for. *smiles softly*

Yeah well... this end of semester month? Was the worse i had ever had...

I had asked mom if there was any way I could get in contact with Elijah, being the last time I had truly talked to him was a year before. She told me he was doing promotions for Return of the King, and that I wouldnt probably catch him. This of course I understood. My path was at the time leading me to finish my classes, and he was busy being the well known popular actor that he was. I never disputed where we were going. Just knowing that our bond would be there if needed.

Then came when I talked to Zac.... and he heard that my final for Creative Writing was to reach into the "pain and suffering" that I had buried in order to write some of the darker works our teacher wanted for our portfolio. He called me up and spent two hours telling me "Why I shouldnt have done it" "It's not right... you finally are able to forget what happened...you shouldnt go back to those feelings... you dont know what will happen..."

But I had remembered Viggo telling me something on the day before it was time for me to leave.. something he told me that stuck with me... "You are a Child of this land in your heart Hannah dear... the Child of Gondor...of Rohan lives within you... there is nothing that can stop you."

I thought to myself as i heard that... and believed in that as deeply as I could. I wasnt with the others for the haul... I dont know what they expirienced... but deep down i was a child of that Land. And I could do whatever was in my Path.

So I reached down and pulled into myself into the dark memories of my past... the words i had barely heard Dad speak... the horrid fights Elijah pulled me away from, and the nasty things he put us down for... I remembered the pain of
walking down the streets of New York, and hearing people whisper "There is Hannah Wood... she's the quiet little sister to Elijah.... oh! Isnt that the little sister? Oh isnt she just the quiet one who said nothing and followed Elijah like a puppy?" And the constant put-down of the professor McCullant... his digression of my work because I was "not the same as my family blood"

Deep down in the pit of darkness of my nightmares... I barely ate, I rarely slept from nightmares... and I grew to never wanting to leave my room, until Zac came to my apartment, took me out of my room, and took care of me for a few days.

One of the worse nights I was "out of it..." it was if i was in the middle of a dream....

I was standing on the top of tower of ectheleon.... wearing the gown of the shieldmaiden that peter had specially made for me. I turned when i heard the soft singing of Miranda singing the Lament of Rohan, seeing her stand behind me, standing there with Liv and Viggo and Sean Bean, then Sir Ian...Dom, billy, John, orlando, Sean...all of the fellowship and cast there behind me. Standing in the midst of them was My Big brother. He reached a hand up to touch the side of my cheek, and in a ghost like whisper he mouthed, "Come home Banana....Come back home."

....and then I woke up.

Zac came in, and we talked for a good long time. He told me that I had missed Elijah stop at home, and he was looking for me, but mom had told him that i was still in New York. He told me that He was in Los Angeles.... and handing me a web adress to this one journal community. He told Me monkey would be there...and so would most of the cast.

Well.... so here I am

Im just about done with setting up for school...and i know things should hopefully get better...

No... *Shakes her head as she lights the dark poems on fire and tosses themin the trash when they finish burning

I know things will get better

Guys....? I'm home

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